Monday, 11 July 2016

Baby Number 2? ( Not yet)


It's been over two years now since I saw the two lines on a pregnancy test  and from when Blake was first born I've always had the question on when we are going have another one. 
Not if we are going to have another one when! The question has been asked far too many times for my liking since Blake turned a year old back in December. 

For me having another child is definitely an If rather than when for many reasons. The main reason is because of what I went through to have Blake. 

Having PCOS means that try to conceive can be pretty tricky. My first step was to start loosing weight which is why in 2013 I chose to start doing slimming world. I then was referred to the hospital for tests, simple tests such as a scan to see if I did indeed have cysts on my ovaries but also intrusive tests which were rather uncomfortable. Then I was put on metiformin and fertility drugs  and had to have a blood test every month to see if I was ovulating, which I was so the drugs were working. I did fall pregnant pretty quick on them but that isn't the case for everyone and some people find that they can't have children so I hate that people have to question others about when they will have children or when they will have another. 

So guess what will happen if we choose to have another child? I'm going to have to go through that all over again. At this moment in time it's not something I am ready for. I know some people go through a lot worse to have a child but I feel people need to be far more considerate around asking such a personal question. 

46 comments:

  1. Aw, it seems you went through a fair bit in your last pregnancy to get pregnant and make sure it all was safe. I do think these days people don't think what others might of gone through and just asked these questions because they think it's something to ask.

    I went through an ectopic pregnancy and after nearly dying, if I want kids it's a long journey and I hate it when people tell me I'm getting old and why don't I have children and I need to have them now. Mind your own is what I think. x

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  2. The children questions drive me potty, such a private thing to be nosey about. When I'm feeling mellow I just change the subject, when I'm feeling sassier I shut people down by asking why they are so interested in my sex life (because that's how babies happen, right? ;)).

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  3. I hear you! After two miscarriages people are still asking. I'm like I'm on it! it just ain't happening xx

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    1. Sorry to hear about he miscarriages.
      Its such a fustating question to be asked when u don't know what they have been or going through

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  4. It always starts with when are you going to have children? and then when are you going to have a second? No doubt after a second it goes on to 3rd...

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  5. Definitely agree it is a personal question but it's one that seems to get asked alot just in general chit chat, you take your time and make the choice that is right for you and your family xx

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  6. Having a second child is the couple's personal decision and I agree, people should be a bit more careful when asking. As for me, I would love to have another one, but sadly, I'm an older parent and if it doesn't happen now, I don't see it happening any time soon. At least I have T :)

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  7. Having baby No 2 was a must for me but it wasnt something I rushed in to either, I liked the idea of getting one off too nursery at 3 years old before having another, I have a five year age gap between one and two and two and a half between two and three x

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  8. Ah it's my pet peeve when people ask 'when are you having another'. It can trigger a lot of emotions!

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  9. Good luck with trying Joanna. What an exciting but nerve wracking time for you.

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  10. I hear ya! I have a 4 year old and I am CONSTANTLY being asked when I'm having another. I always say we aren't planning on having another, but yet the same people still ask me?! Argh lol. Good luck if you do try though :-) your baba is so cute!

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  11. It is a question I will never ask anyone - far too many people close to me have had trouble conceiving. And just because you already have one, it doesn't mean that you can automatically have another x

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  12. I know what you mean. Thankfully after a 9 year gap they have given up asking now.

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  13. It's so rude when people ask such things - I'm not at the baby stage yet, but people keep slyly commenting about getting engaged. Why are people so adamant on people moving on to 'the next step' instead of focusing on just enjoying the moment?!

    Milly | Mini Adventures

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  14. It took me 4 years to get over the birth of my first child and I wasn't sure I'd be able to have another. I now have 2 wonderful children but never again! xx

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  15. I do wonder why people ask the question about the next baby as quite frankly it isn't any of their business, some people simply choose to stop and one, others got though so much to have one that like you, the time needs to be right to have another one. You will know when the time is right

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    1. This is so true. Once I was engaged it was when u going to get married, then when are u going go have kids and now when will u have another

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  16. I could only ever have one child due to all the complications I had having Joe, you have to make sure it is right for you.

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  17. I cant even imagine what you went through and its very insensitive of people to be asking you when when without knowing your reasons.

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  18. They should definitely be more considerate, it is unfair for people to be so intrusive and its up to you if you want another. Especially when you are in so much pain xxx

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  19. I'm so sorry you went through this, people can be so insensitive. Especially people who can conceive easily, it's unfair.

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  20. Personally I do not want kids and I feel your frustration because I get asked why I don't want them, why am I being selfish and all sorts of questions but pregnancy and the choices that come with it are personal and it's no ones place to question someone's choice or pressure someone about it. If you do decide to have another baby I wish you all the luck with it but for now enjoy your baby and ignore any questions :)

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    1. It's definitely ur choice wether u have no kids, one child or loads. Too much pressure I think though from other people.

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  21. I definitely understand your decision. People can be invasive with their questions about future children but you have to go at your own pace.

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  22. Aww, you went through a lot last time :(

    I hope everything goes a lot easier for you when you try again :)

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  23. Sending lots of strength and good wishes that your dreams come true soon. Have fun trying! ;)

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  24. People just can't help themselves, they would always ask. So annoying sometimes. Good luck with everything.

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  25. I am just 6 months pregnant and people are already asking when we will have the second one - it's crazy!

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    1. Gosh I'm glad it wasn't that soon with me. Good Luck for the rest of ur pregnancy and the safe arrival of your little one.

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  26. I hate how it's perfectly acceptable to ask women questions like that as if there is an expectation that they should just have more kids. Up to you whenever you want to have another one (if you do!).

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  27. I totally understand what your saying, seems like you went through so much xx

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  28. I cannot believe some of the questions that people ask. I hope that it all works out for you. xx

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  29. I think that it's a personal decision if you want to go through all of that again or not and people should not judge you no matter which decision this is. Is your life and your body and you are the only one that should decide on it. I don't want children and people keep asking what is wrong with me. That's annoying, someone else trying to decide that is good or not for me.

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  30. You're completely right. I know several people who have really struggled to conceive and the insensitive comments that have been made are unbelievable!

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  31. Theres 10 years between my 2, so I was constantly being asked when I was having another. And it also took us 2 years to conceive as I was diagnosed with secondary unexplained infertility and to be constantly asked 'are you pregnant yet?' was awful, so I totally relate!

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  32. I'm sure you will know when it's the right time to have another baby. Good luck with everything when you do decide x

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  33. I am sure when the time comes you will just know hun x

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  34. We're in the same boat, but honestly I don't think there is really ever a right time to have a child.

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  35. I think it is a natural topic of conversation to ask if you would like another baby but people should tread carefully when asking

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  36. I find this question SO frustrating - no one should ask you when number two is coming - grrr..

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  37. You know when or if you're ready for another. Don't let pressure make you do something you don't want to x

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  38. Only you will know when the right time for baby number two is. I remember wondering after having Amelia and eventually I knew when it was the right time. I keep getting asked now which upsets me because I know I won't be having another :( xx

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    1. Thanks Kerry.It's such a personal decision.

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  39. Isn't this everyone's favourite question. You have a baby and then straight away everyone asks if you're having another. I must admit I've been guilty of saving it even though I hate people asking lol. It's such a personal decision and nobody else's business x

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  40. Everyones favourite question for us was always - are you trying for a girl (we had 4 boys then 2 girls) or do you not have a TV! Its personal choice and we wanted a big family, no one should have to explain themselves to others <3

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  41. It's so annoying that people ask questions like this. They just aren't considerate at all x

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