It's happening again the surge overwhelming panic, heart palpitations, feeling as if I can't breath. It something that happens to me quite frequently recently. Something I've never really talked about on here but something I need to get off my chest.
I've always been a worrier for as long as I can remember. When I was at school I worried about people liking me, about my lessons, about my exams, pretty much everything to be honest. But since having Blake this has become something that is happening a bit more regularly.
I've had a lot of stress and anxiety recently and things that may seem nothing to others have been bothering me no end. I've also had labyrinthitis a few weeks ago which hasn't helped things. Sometimes the silly things that are bothering me are things such as not having enough hours in a day to do all housework that is needing to be done, write blog posts, go to groups with Blake as well as playing with him throughout the day. Other times it's bigger things such as the fact we are out growing our flat but rental prices are ridiculously high to be able to afford to move to the bigger place we need.
I recently had an appointment with the health visitor and found out that Blake is a bit behind in his development in a few areas so is being referred to see someone about that. This has made me feel useless and that maybe I should be trying harder with my son and that I am letting him down as a mum. In a way I think the stress and anxiety of that may be what brought on me having labyrinthitis the other week so I've been trying to take it more easy recently. I also spoke to my GP about how I've been feeling and have now also been prescribed something to help me when I feel like i'm going to have a panic attack or just need it to help with my stress levels and anxiety.
As you can see the bigger problems should be bothering me more than fitting what I need to into my day.
Last year I did a little course (thanks to my local children's centre) on mental health. The course was called healthy minds and was a great way to help me with a wide range of mental health issues so I think its time to get the pack out and to focus on getting myself sorted.
I'm cutting down my blog posts for awhile and sticking to about 2/3 posts a week rather than trying to fit 5 or more in each week. I feel that by doing this it means I still am able to blog which I love to do but by cutting down my work load I can start feel more relaxed and hopefully start to feel much more like myself once again.