A little over two weeks ago I mentioned on social media that I hadn't been feeling that great. I feel that antidepressants on their own just aren't working for me at the moment. I've had mental health issues since I was 15 and you can read my mental health story here. Writing about my mental health is nothing new on here. If you are interested you can read some of my other posts I've written over the years by searching mental health , Depression or anxiety into the search box at the bottom of this page.
I've mainly been on medication to help with depression and anxiety although I had counselling once back in 2009 after my Dad's death. I've had moments over the years where medication has stopped working for me and a higher dosage was then given. Last year I had the worst reaction I've ever had to an increase in dosage resulting in suicidal thoughts and hallucinations. It was a scary time I had to reduce the medication gradually before coming off it and starting on a different one.
Since then I've had good and bad days but recently I've been struggling hence why I decided to reach out and refer myself for counselling with the local NHS service.
I think it's so important to identify anxiety triggers that are specific to you so that they can provide me with right type of therapy. I was honest with her about my struggles.
I told her how I feel really anxious going out. I told her about my struggles with having an autistic child, I told her about how Stuart's own problems are affecting me, that I'm struggling to feel motivated, that since I was diagnosed with diabetes in November I've not been able to eat healthily like I should be, I told her about my struggles to sleep because of the thoughts that swirl through my head at night, I told her that we've only lived up here a year and that I feel lonely and isolated as we have no family and friends nearby.
Hearing myself say all these things has made me realise that it's alot and I'm bound to feel overwhelmed and that seeking help was the right thing.
We talked about therapy and so it's decided that I need one to one guided self help which will be in the form of CBT which I've not had before. So at the moment I'm awaiting to hear about an appointment which will most likely be over the phone because of the pandemic we are currently in.
