Friday, 17 March 2017

Did I make the right decision? How to cope with constant decision-making as a parent

Perhaps one of the most difficult parts of being a parent is the constant struggle to make good decisions, as these often affect not only yourself, but also your little one or even your family as a whole. The number of decisions I have to make on a day-to-day basis is always big, varying from small ones (e.g. should I let Blake have chocolate?), to the bigger and more difficult ones, (e.g. choosing Blake’s nursery or deciding whether we would be better off moving to a bigger house at some point). Worrying about what is the right thing to do or whether I made the right decision can be emotionally overwhelming in the life of a parent.
So this made me thinking: How can I feel confident that I'm making the right decisions? What can a parent do to cope with this kind of stress? Here are a few strategies that I came up with based on a little bit of research and my own experience



Seek support from the people that are involved with you in caring for your child


It is important to remember that you are not on your own when it comes to making important decisions that will affect you and your family. Be it for your partner, your mum or your child’s teacher, you can always give and receive support in the decision-making process, by establishing an effective partnership with the other adults that are involved.

Seek advice
There is nothing wrong with admitting that you don’t know everything, especially when you have to make decisions that affect your child. We might often think that as parents our role is to ‘know everything’ or at least that’s how our kids like to think (or even what we'd like them to think!) But really, recognising our own limitations and seeking advice whenever we feel out-of-depth is conscious parenting and there are several resources we can turn to for guidance and support.
Consulting your GP, your child’s health visitor or nursery teacher might seem like an obvious option for most of us, but there are other resources available that we may not make enough use of, including consulting a counsellor (especially when it feels like the responsibility of being a parent leaves us a bit overwhelmed!). 
Sometimes, however, there are factors affecting our decisions that we can’t possibly know (like, whether this nursery will eventually turn out to be the best option for Blake). I find it useful to consult an experienced clairvoyant whenever I am faced with questions, like ‘is this the right period to make this important change to my family’s life?’ or whenever I feel that there are more things I should know before making a decision. Α clairvoyant is a sort of a spiritual professional, able to see people, objects or situations that most of us don’t. Because of these professionals' spiritual ability and their training, clairvoyant readings provide askers with information that may even transcend time, allowing you to learn about the past, present or future events in relation to your worries.
Consulting a professional gives me reassurance and an added perspective, while it also gives me this much-needed space to reflect on my life, my goals and the decisions I have already made.

Don’t be so afraid to make mistakes (and give yourself credit for all the good decisions you make)

And last but not least, it’s important to remember that all parents make mistakes – it’s only normal to make mistakes from time to time. It’s also very normal to worry about it (in fact, the very fact that you worry and seek advice and support means that you’re probably already doing your best!). But, no matter how much you try to make all the good decisions, there is no such thing as a perfect parent! Remember that decision-making is such a big part of a parent’s daily life, that it’s impossible to avoid making some not-so-good decisions on the way. For every wrong decision that you think you have made, there are dozens of good decisions that you successfully make each day. So, do give yourself some credit!


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